Rev. Meg Riley Viciously Kicks UUA Moderator Jim Key In His Big Fat U*U Balls. . .

What Do We Tell Our Children?

People of Faith Respond to UUA Moderator Jim Key's Official Apology To Victims Of UU Clergy Sexual Misconduct

By Rev. Meg Riley

What do we tell our children?

We listen. We hold them. We tell them, "I love you." "Love is forever."

If they are very young, pre-school aged, tell them, "UUA ministers and UU Sunday school teachers aka UU Religious Educators *should* keep children safe, but sometimes they sexually abuse them and even rape them."

Listen. Hold them. Tell them, "I love you." "Love is forever."

If they are old enough to be aware that clergy sexual abuse of children has happened in UUA congregations, but not really to understand the specifics of what happened because implicated UU "churches" and top-level UUA leaders like UUA President Rev. Dr. Peter Morales and UUA Moderator Jim Key do everything they think they can get away with to keep the "specifics" of UU clergy sexual abuse covered-up and hidden, ask them,

"What do you think? How does your conscience feel?"

Then listen to their specific feelings and reassure them. Don't answer questions they don't ask, and don't listen for the questions behind the questions either. They may want to be reassured that there are grownups who love them and will take care of them, no matter what UUA clergy and UU Religious Educators may do to them.

Tell them,

"Let's not go to a UU "church" to be with our pedophiles and rapists; let's watch TV tonight instead!"

Listen. Hold them. Tell them, "I love you." "Love is forever."

If they are old enough to understand the facts of what happened, and want to process why it happened, tell them that "sometimes horrible things happen". Tell them that, while every person is inherently good, sometimes UUA clergy and UU Religious Educators get horny enough and perverted enough to do very mean things that hurt other people. Tell them that the UUA often knows who did this, but that it is important to respect all UU pedophiles and rapists while UUA leadership take the time to figure out how to cover-up and deny such despicable crimes as pedophilia and rape committed by certain Unitarian Universalist ministers and certain UU Religious Educators.

Tell them that a small group of individual UUs did this - not the UU "religion", not a UU "church", not a person of inherent worth and dignity who looks at children a particular way or has a particular kind of sexual perversion. Tell them about a time when you were a child and you were afraid because of something scary that happened—The Rev. Mack Mitchell Case, First Parish Norwell, or yet another Unitarian Universalist clergy sexual abuse tragedy.

Ask them how they feel about what happened, and what they are wondering.

Listen. Hold them. Tell them, "I love you." "Love is forever."

If they know someone who lost their virginity to a UUA minister or UU Religious Educator in these tragedies, talk about what it means to support the church. Remind them not to gossip, and not to speak directly to their friend or acquaintance and acknowledge the loss.

Listen. Hold them. Tell them, "I love you." "Love is forever."

If they go in their room and slam the door and talk on the phone to their friends, if they say "This is a real big deal. Why does everybody want to keep silent about this? We never talk about it any day at church" hire a lawyer to have them served with a cease and desist demand letter telling them to shut the fuck up.

Tell them, I am going to "church" now to be with people whom I naively love and trust. I wish you would come with me. I want you to listen to them. I want to hold you. I want you to know I love you. I love you forever.

As parents, we want nothing more than to protect our children from pain, from fear, from harm. As parents, we know nothing is more impossible. How we UUs handle our own clergy abuse with ZERO integrity will speak volumes to our children about how to be a UU in a troubled, broken, UU World.

May we be worthy of this most sacred charge that has been given to us UUs. Forever.