Frank Zappa & The Illinois Enema Bandit Aid & Abet The Emerson Avenger In Giving The U*U Movement A Public Enema

The following plagU*Urized version of 'The Illinois Enema Bandit'* by Frank Zappa is brought to constipated U*Us U*U World-wide courtesy of the Reverend Doctor Eric Theodore Cartman III. . .

And now folks it's time for Rev. Dr. Victoria Weinstein to deliver our special Illinois Enema Bandit-type announcement take it away, Peacebang!

"This is a true story
About a famous criminal
From Soviet Canuckistan
This is the story of Robin Edgar
A man who's NOT serving time at this very moment
For the crime of disturbing U*U Movement "shit".

It so happened, that at the time of the snubbery
Robin, decided to give his female victims
A little enema
Apparently, there was no law against that
Butt his name lives on
Robin Edgar
The Emerson Enema-Venger!"

The Emerson Enema*Venger
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them Harvard-educated women...
He'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)

He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Emerson Enema*Venger juice

The Emerson Enema*Venger juice

He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Emerson Enema*Venger juice

He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Emerson Enema*Venger juice

The Emerson Enema*Venger
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news
Boston Massachusetts he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From church to church
He's got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm

Lookin' for some rustic U*U rump
That he just might wanna pump

Lookin' for some rustic U*U rump
That he just might wanna pump

Lookin' for some rustic U*U rump
That he just might wanna pump

The Emerson Enema*Venger
One day he'll have to pay
Some day he'll have to pay
The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And then the judge would have him for a *special* guest
And then the D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And then the judge would say, "No U*U jokes!"
They'll drag in the 'Venger for all to see,
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy. . .
Hot soapy water in the third degree!"

And then the 'Venger might say,

"Why is everybody looking' at me?"

Well did you cause this misery?
Well did you cause this kinda misery?
Well did you cause this misery?

Now, one girl shout: "Let the 'Venger be!"

'Venger are you guilty?
'Venger are you guilty?
Tell me now, What's our plea?

Another girl shout: "Let our friend go free!"

'Venger, Did you do these deeds?

The 'Venger say, "It must be just what they all needs..."

"It must be just what they all needs..."

"It must be just what they all needs..."

"It must be just what they all needs..."

"It must be just what they all needs..."

"It must be just what they all needs..."

* It should be noted that Frank Zappa's 'The Illinois Enema Bandit' song is one of the tracks recorded live on the 'Tiny Is As Tiny Do' bootleg album. The Emerson Avenger would like to ever so opportunistically take this opportunity to rather pointedly point out to U*Us U*U World-wide that The Tiny Declining Fringe Religion™ *IS* as The Tiny Declining Fringe Religion™ Does. . .