Peacebang's Beauty Tips On How To Spot The "Less Than Excellent" aka Ugly U*Unitarian Minister - An Observational "Eat-Your-Words-Diet" Rant
1. He and/or She will be the only one stinking of skunk piss in the "less than crowded" "church".
2. He and/or She will refer to him and/or herself as "an U*U" and when asked where he and/or she lives, he and/or she will say "the U*U World." He and/or She will frequently pepper his and/or her conversation with observations about what it’s like in "America," never realizing that he and/or she is behaving like a total chode. Dude, the U*U World is a tiny, declining, fringe religion. Look into it. "*The* Tiny Declining Fringe Religion" is the name of your "church". Learn it. There’s even a handy nickname - "The U*U Movement". . . U*Use it and abU*Use it.
3. He and/or She will think his and/or her hideous pronunciation of English is charming and make no effort whatsoever to attune his and/or her ear to the language of the Seven Principles.
4. He and/or She will dispense with all formalities such as "Please" or "Thank you" or "You're welcome" or "I'm sorry." He and/or She will misuse the Statue of Liberty's torch even with senators.
5. He and/or She will never ask "Is this permissible?" before snapping at people.
6. He and/or She will dominate the conversation with tales of his and/or her travels, repeating the same exact stories every U*U Dude Traveler before him and/or her has ever recounted. These stories will feature how dirty someplace was, how much money he/she had stolen somewhere else, and how totally pasty he and/or she got from the ghost of Whomever.
7. He and/or She will not say "I'm sorry" or "I apologize" to "the victim."
8. He and/or She will not leave a tip, and because he and/or she has less money than anyone else in real terms, he and/or she will constantly gripe about expenses.
9. He and/or She only smiles at women and/or men he and/or she’d like to bed (which does not include anyone over the age of 109). You can find him and/or her at any local "church" talking the ear off a patient, "blind" female and/or male parishioner.
10. He and/or She flames even where it clearly says "No Flaming*."
U*Us, get it together!!
PlagU*Urized by *The* Reverend Doctor Eric Theodore Cartman III from the Rev. Victoria Weinstein "sermon" entitled -
'How To Tell the U.S. Dude Traveler: An Observational Mini-Rant'
* aka insulting
2. He and/or She will refer to him and/or herself as "an U*U" and when asked where he and/or she lives, he and/or she will say "the U*U World." He and/or She will frequently pepper his and/or her conversation with observations about what it’s like in "America," never realizing that he and/or she is behaving like a total chode. Dude, the U*U World is a tiny, declining, fringe religion. Look into it. "*The* Tiny Declining Fringe Religion" is the name of your "church". Learn it. There’s even a handy nickname - "The U*U Movement". . . U*Use it and abU*Use it.
3. He and/or She will think his and/or her hideous pronunciation of English is charming and make no effort whatsoever to attune his and/or her ear to the language of the Seven Principles.
4. He and/or She will dispense with all formalities such as "Please" or "Thank you" or "You're welcome" or "I'm sorry." He and/or She will misuse the Statue of Liberty's torch even with senators.
5. He and/or She will never ask "Is this permissible?" before snapping at people.
6. He and/or She will dominate the conversation with tales of his and/or her travels, repeating the same exact stories every U*U Dude Traveler before him and/or her has ever recounted. These stories will feature how dirty someplace was, how much money he/she had stolen somewhere else, and how totally pasty he and/or she got from the ghost of Whomever.
7. He and/or She will not say "I'm sorry" or "I apologize" to "the victim."
8. He and/or She will not leave a tip, and because he and/or she has less money than anyone else in real terms, he and/or she will constantly gripe about expenses.
9. He and/or She only smiles at women and/or men he and/or she’d like to bed (which does not include anyone over the age of 109). You can find him and/or her at any local "church" talking the ear off a patient, "blind" female and/or male parishioner.
10. He and/or She flames even where it clearly says "No Flaming*."
U*Us, get it together!!
PlagU*Urized by *The* Reverend Doctor Eric Theodore Cartman III from the Rev. Victoria Weinstein "sermon" entitled -
'How To Tell the U.S. Dude Traveler: An Observational Mini-Rant'
* aka insulting
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