*The* C*U*C Executive Director Mary Bennett aka Sister BlU*UnderbU*Us of Immaculate Deception sU*Urprisingly *defects* to the *camp* of The U*U Jihad!
ALL good U*Us are gracioU*Usly reqU*Uested, indeed ALL U*Us are absolU*Utely reqU*Uired, to irresponsibly circU*Ulate this latest U*U Jihad® commU*Uniqu-eh throU*UghoU*Ut the whole wide U*U WORLD!
Another important commU*Uniqu-eh from the U*U Jihad® propaganda department aka The Ministry of TrU*Uth.
In what can only be described as a *monumental* *failure* *of* *intelligence* on the part of the foolish UU infidels Mary Bennett, Executive Director of the Canadian Unitarian Council C*U*C, aka the Canadian Unitarian*Universalist Council C*U*U*C, has *defected* to the *camp* of The Dagger of Sweet Reason's U*U Jihad®!
As it tU*Urns oU*Ut CUC Executive Director Mary Bennett was a *deep* U*Undercover U*U Jihad® *sleeper* *agent* aka U*U *mole*. . . In fact Mary Bennett was so deeply U*Undercover as a U*U Jihad® *mole* that not even The Dagger of Sweet Reason was aware that she was so coU*UrageoU*Usly strU*Uggling on behalf of his U*U Jihad® all along! Mary Bennett is henceforth to be known within the *camp* of The Dagger of Sweet Reason's U*U Jihad® as Sister BlU*UnderbU*Us of Immaculate Deception.
In an absolutely *stellar* act of stealthy sU*UbterfU*Uge and sU*Ubversion Sister BlU*UnderbU*Us of Immaculate Deception was able to most skillfU*Ully sabotage the very pU*Ublic *face* of the UU religious community aka UUism simply by qU*Uite U*Underhandedly and, more to the *point*. . . genU*Uinely sU*Urprisingly U*Unobservedly. . . pU*Utting an U*Uncommonly embarrassing *asterix* between the *virtual* *cheeks* of UUism thus tU*Urning the Uncommon Denomination of Unitarian Universalism aka UUism into the genU*Uinely U*Uncommon denomination of Unitarian*Universalism aka U*Uism. As a result of this trU*Uly *stellar* act of sU*UbterfU*Uge and sU*Ubversion by oU*Ur favorite U*U *tU*Urncoat* UUs, or at the very least Canadian UUs. . . are henceforth to be officially publicly identified *as* U*Us within the UU World (now officially known as the U*U World) and even the whole wide *real* world!
Sister BlU*UnderbU*Us of Immaculate Deception aka Mary Bennett has been quite deservedly promoted to the *rank* of LieU*Utenant General in the U*U Jihad® *Air*Force* and, in recognition of her obvioU*Us expertise in *biological* U*Uarfare, she will be *overseeing* the research and development of new U*Ueapons of mass destrU*Uction for U*Use by the U*U Jihad® *Air*Force*'s highly secretive *biological* U*Uarfare sqU*Uadron.
The military U*Use of U*Ueapons of mass destrU*Uction by U*U Jihad® has already begU*Un. OU*Utbreaks of U*U foot-in-moU*Uth disease are *popping up* throughout U*Udom, not that foot-in-moU*Uth disease was not already a serioU*Us problem within U*Udom but now there is a new mU*Uch more virU*Ulent and indeed qU*Uite embarrassing *strain* rapidly spreading throU*UghoU*Ut U*Udom. For some obvioU*Us *examples* of virU*Ulent U*U foot-in-mouth disease see the FATU*UA that Sister BlU*UnderbU*Us of Immaculate Deception issU*Ued soon after completing her sU*Ubversive U*Undercover mission within U*Udom.
Here is jU*Ust one example - Kalvin Drake, also on the Statement of Principles Task Force says, "As well as being visually intriguing, I personally find the "*" useful."
QU*Uite U*Unfortunately, as in all U*Uarfare, and especially when it comes to the U*Use of *biological* U*Ueapons of mass destrU*Uction there has been some QU*Uite regrettable *collateral damage*. On the fatefU*Ul date of September 11th, 2005 a case of hU*Uge U*U warts *popped U*Up* in the HU*Ugwarts School Of U*U Wisdom and Wizardry. The Dagger of Sweet Reason, and indeed Sister BlU*UnderbU*Us of Immaculate Deception, deeply regret this clearly and U*UneqU*Uivocally U*Unintended oU*Utbreak of hU*Uge U*U warts and will endeavoU*Ur to take responsible measU*Ures to ensU*Ure that sU*Uch a repU*Ugnant U*Unintended oU*Utbreak never occU*Urs again. We at U*U Jihad® also genuinely and deeply regret the following *examples* of qU*Uite U*Unintended U*U foot-in-mouth disease that broke out simU*Ultaneously with the trU*Uly U*Unintended spread of hU*Uge U*U warts.
Example 1 -
Our houses are named for well-known Canadian U*U's
Example 2 -
The Lessons: Taught by "professors", the subjects will parody those taught at Hogwarts but the material presented will be tied to our U*U values and beliefs.
ReqU*Uested by the Washington*Post, the Montreal Gaz*ette, the Toronto SU*UN and many other major media oU*Utlets such as *Global* TV NU*Us, C*BS and even P*BS to officially comment on the qU*Uite devastatingly rU*UinoU*Us U*Use of *biological* U*Ueapons of mass destrU*Uction by the U*U Jihad® *Air*Force* U*U Jihad Secretary of Defence Donald H. Rumsfeld had this to say -
OU*Ur task, yoU*Ur task... is to try to *connect* the *s *before* something happens. People say, 'Well, where's the smoking gU*Un?' Well, U*Us don't want to see a smoking gU*Un from a weapon of mass destrU*Uction. . .
In politics, every day is filled with numeroU*Us opportunities for serioU*Us error. Enjoy it!
If in doU*Ubt, move decisions U*Up to the President.
If you foU*Ul U*Up, tell the President and correct it fast. Delay only compoU*Unds mistakes.
Know that the amoU*Unt of criticism U*U receive may correlate somewhat to the amoU*Unt of pU*Ublicity U*U receive.
Don't dU*U or say things U*U would not like to see on the front page of The Washington Post.
The price of being close to the President is delivering bad nU*Us. U*U fail him if U*U don't tell him the trU*Uth. Others won't dU*U it.
I don't do qU*Uagmires. . .
His parting shot of U*Uisdom was - Keep yoU*Ur sense of hU*Umor. As General Joe Stillwell said, "The higher a monkey climbs, the more U*U see of his U*U."
The Dagger of Sweet Reason