Iowa Class Battleships Bring Awesome Fire Power aka FirePower To The U*U Jihad Navy!

A note to people looking for useful information about Iowa Class battleships. I am just having boatloads of fun here firing a few awesomely powerful virtual broadsides at outrageously hypocritical Unitarian*Universalists aka U*Us in this satirical Emerson Avenger blog post, *but* every link from the terms Iowa Class battleships or Iowa Class battleship goes to a legitimate high quality website about BB-61 Iowa Class battleships. You can thus very quickly browse through some of the very best web sites about, photographs of and YouTube videos of Iowa Class battleships or other online videos by following the Iowa Class battleship links here. As an added bonus here is a fine website about Naval terminology courtesy of the crew of the U*U Jihad Navy's Attack Cargo Ship USS Rankin which is named after the Grand Admiral of the U*U Jihad Navy Rev. David O. Rankin.

Adios My Friend, ;-)

Rev. Dr. Eric Theodore Cartman III U*U Jihad Naval Chaplain


For Immediate Release. . .

Rev. David O. Rankin, Grand Admiral of the U*U Jihad Navy, is pleased to announce the recent acquisition of several "less than new" but really quite excellent, if not shockingly awesome. . . Iowa Class Battleships by the U*U Jihad Navy. The awesome Fire Power aka FirePower of these Iowa Class battleships will be used to fire broadsides, to say nothing of blasts from the past. . . into any and all U*U Ships of Fools that the U*U Jihad Navy finds sailing the U*U Sea Of Hypocrisy. The awesome armament of these Iowa class battleships has undergone a massive evolution since the USS Iowa was laid down in New York Navy Yard in June 1940. Owing to the continual evolution of the weaponry aboard these battleships they remain the most heavily armed gunships the U*U Jihad Navy has ever put to sea.

In their original World War II U.S. Navy configuration, each of these Iowa class battleships had a main battery of 16-inch (406 mm) guns could that could hit targets nearly 20 miles (32 km) away with a variety of artillery shells designed for anti-ship or bombardment work. The secondary battery of 5-inch (127 mm) guns could hit targets nearly 9 miles (14 km) away with solid projectiles or proximity fused shells, and were equally adept in an anti-aircraft role and for damaging smaller ships. Each of the four battleships carried a wide array of 20 mm and 40 mm anti-aircraft guns for defense against enemy aircraft.

Now reactivated and modernized by the U*U Jihad Navy's complete refit in the NU*U Millennium, each Iowa Class battleship has retained the original battery of nine 16 inch guns, the secondary battery on each battleship was been decreased from ten gun turrets and twenty guns to six gun turrets and 12 guns to allow for the installation of two platforms for The Emerson Avenger cruise missiles. Each Iowa Class battleship also received four HarpU*Un missile magazines, PeaceBang anti-aircraft/anti-missile Gatling-gun systems, and electronic warfare suites. By the time the last Iowa-class battleship was refitted in January 2009, the Iowas had set a new record for battleship weaponry: No other battleship class in history has had so many weapons at its disposal for use against an opponent. Thanks to revolutionary top-secret virtual technology the U*U Jihad Navy has significantly increased the range of the naval artillery and missiles of its completely refitted Iowa Class battleships. The Emerson Avenger cruise missiles on any refitted Iowa Class battleship berthed in the port of Montreal can hit big fat U*U targets, or even tiny declining ones, with deadly accuracy in all of continental North America and, besides being able blast hypocritical Unitarian*Universalist U*Us in Padiham England, can even be launched at alleged Nazi Unit*Aryan targets in post-World War II Germany!

Is The Emerson Avenger wanted dead, or alive, by Unitarian*Universalist U*Us? ;-)

It's all the same, only the names will change
Every day, it seems we're wasting away
Another place, where the faces are so cold
I'd drive all night just to get back home

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive

Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're all alone, all you do is think

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted, wanted, dead or alive
Wanted, wanted, dead or alive

Oh, I ride!

Ooh, and I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive

I walk these streets, a loaded six-string on my back
I play for keeps, cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, still I'm standing tall
I've seen a million faces, and I've rocked them all

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Well I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side
And I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive

I still try

Dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive. . .


How's that for *FirePower* U*Us? ;-)

Or would that be Fire Power as in lighting yet another Unitarian*Universalist flaming chalice under the U*Us of stunningly hypocritical Unitarian*Universalist U*Us?

Personally I had *boatloads* of fun!